Pengalaman Model United Nation Pertamaku

Ikutan Model United Nation adalah mimpiku sejak SMP, meskipun keinginan itu hanya berdasarkan gengsi semata dan aku ga begitu mengerti apa sebetulnya yang dilakukan selama kegiatan itu. Pokoknya setiap kali melihat beberapa orang yang kukenal di medsos sedang flexing megang plakat MUN, pakai jas rapi, duduk di aula luxurious: they all looked really fancy. Baru setelah kuliah aku tahu kalau ikut MUN itu bukan hanya tentang keren-kerenan berlagak ala diplomat, tapi kita sebagai peserta harus punya skill debat, pidato, negosiasi, menulis, dan kepempinan yang bagus agar diakui sebegai delegasi yang baik dan dapat penghargaan seperti Best Delegate, Honorable Mention, dll. Kalaupun merasa ga punya skills yang aku sebutkan di atas, ternyata boleh-boleh aja ikut. Resikonya hanyalah ga dapet penghargaan aja, so it’s pretty much a nothing-to-lose situation, at least for me.

JAVA MUN delegates after closing ceremony

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What is it Like Being A ‘Maba’: An Honest Observation

What Is it like being a 'maba'

This morning I woke up and spent some good reflective minutes thinking about how these past two month after I got accepted to unpad had treated me and what I feel about it. This surely has been an emotional roller-coaster; dense-but-loose bag of lessons; a good-yet-dissapointing kickstart that I may regret later in life. Things are not working as I imagined them to be, I get worn out so easily; which is apparently explainable given that this whole uni activities are hella hectic; something that I don’t used to went through in my homeschooling years.

What was hard is figured out that I’m not the smartest person in the room; I more often that not am just an average. Some of my friends appear to be very passionate (to join heaps of organisations and extracurricular units at the same time), brave (to raise their hand, to lead a project, to speak up in front of the class), and keen-witted individuals. I am not, very far away from that.

I also recently just experienced my first failure in my uni life; I got rejected from joining unpad’s English Speaking Union, yeay! Though I wholeheartedly believe that this is just a smaller-sized success that help me to learn, I couldn’t help but crying my heart out; it did make my day gone blue. I even put a long ass time to think about what did I do wrong in the interview; am I that bad and uncapable? Yes, there you go all the self-doubts and whatnot.

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What happens when we don’t care about having a career

What Is it like being a 'maba'(1)

As I finished my high school diploma and getting ready to pursue a bachelor’s degree in political science, I encounter quite a large number of people in my age being abudantly worried and confused of which college major is worth to choose and eventually choose certain major based on job prospects. While I understand where this consternation comes from, given the fact that we need to earn a decent income to live comfortably and to survive in this crazy world, I’d argue that this mindset is not best one to embrace, at least for me.

For one thing, choosing a college major based on future job outlook tends to be quite stressful. Pursuing fancy majors and therefore having ‘respected’ jobs and good money, the idea that the society dictated us to have, is what I think as one of the reason to why depression has surged to epidemic levels in recent decades as it has impacted millions of people. In the midst of complexities of modern life, with all its pressure, many people see life as a showroom, where your job and status define your worth as human being. I see this as a societal/psychological challenge we have to tackle for the better future.

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Tentang Mimpi dan Ekspektasi: Apa Bedanya?

Aku menulis ini ketika sedang menunggu hasil SBMPTN. Ada suatu perasaan yang tipikal dalam momen-momen seperti ini: ketika kita merasa masa depan begitu redup dan kita mencoba meraba-raba apa yang terjadi kalau keinginan tidak tercapai. Apa yang terjadi jika aku tidak masuk jurusan impian padahal aku sudah kerja keras belajar? Akankah aku dianggap gagal dalam hidup, pecundang, bodoh, not good enough, ga beruntung? Perasaan seperti ini sudah sering banget kualami, terutama karena aku sering ikut lomba (dan… ga menang hehe) dan berbagai macam tes akademis, di mana aku selalu stres memikirkan hasilnya. Akankah aku menang? Akankah aku lulus? Akankah nilaiku bagus? Kalau engga gimana? Mampus gue kalau gagal! Aku yakin perasaan ini universal—semua orang hampir pasti pernah mengalaminya. Ini adalah perasaan yang berbahaya karena bisa berujung ke depresi.

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, ada sebuah ide yang muncul di kepalaku yang aku kira bisa menjawab persoalan ini, yaitu tentang pentingnya membedakan mimpi dan ekspektasi. (Peringatan: definisi-definisi atas kedua kata ini adalah hasil interpretasiku; bukan definisi KBBI).

Aku menyadari bahwa sejak aku bisa membedakan keduanya dan memilih salah satu yang lebih baik, aku menjadi lebih santai dalam memikirkan masa depan, tantangan-tantangan, dan cita-citaku. Selain itu, aku bisa menghindari ketakutan-ketakutan yang tidak perlu. And I encourage you to give this some thought.

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An Abstract Feeling and Sensation: “The Sublime”

There was this ineffable, weird, ambiguous, and hazy sensation that I’ve been experiencing for the past 5 years, probably it was after puberty hit me, and I definitely thought myself insane as I was quite sure that nobody would feel this particular sensation like I was. This strange temporary sensation enters my mind whenever I went traveling and having to see a row of great mountains of Alborz, the tropical landscape in Lombok, watching the vast night sky from my house’s attic window and million of stars that are moving at a million miles a day, huge skyscrapers in a city or whenever I’m watching some cinematic nature videos that’s showing the splendid and grandeur of god’s creations that beyond all the possibility of calculation or imitation. I get this feeling even more tensely when I think of the galaxies in our universe, how it can be so huge to the point where humans didn’t discover all of it yet.

It made me feel that my existence, human activities and interaction, are so insignificant as all of this big things around us would keep turning, moving, and existing even without us here.

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Kirana On ‘Perempuan dan Kebebasan Berpakaian’

Belum lama ini, di medsos lagi  heboh banget tentang petisi pemboikotan iklan girlgroup Blackpink karena berpakaian seksi. Di feed Twitter-ku, ada lebih banyak orang yang mengecam petisi ini daripada yang mendukung (karena aku lebih banyak mem-follow akun-akun orang liberal haha). Aku jadi tertarik mengikuti perdebatan tentang petisi ini karena mengangkat isu lama tentang perempuan dan kebebasan berpakaian. Isu seperti ini tuh udah lama banget muncul dan selalu bikin orang-orang berantem haha. Mungkin karena isu ini mengandung pembahasan filsafat yang lumayan ribet tapi seru.

Kali ini, untuk pertama kalinya di blogku, aku ingin membahas tentang perempuan dan kebebasan berpakaian dari beberapa argumen yang sering banget muncul tentang petisi ini. Tapi, sebelumnya, aku mohon agar pembaca sekalian membaca tulisanku ini dengan pikiran yang terbuka dan bebas prasangka.

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